#508 True Dominance Starts with Mastering YOU with Justin Adams
In this episode, we sit down with Justin Adams, founder of The Dominance Academy, to explore dominance as something far deeper than bedroom technique, power, or performance. A Brooklyn-based practitioner and educator, Justin approaches dominance as a discipline of character rooted in self-authored ethics, ritual, self-awareness, and the responsibility that comes with being trusted by another person.
Drawing on Taoism, Stoicism, and Jungian shadow integration, Justin offers a thoughtful alternative to both Manosphere masculinity and the often-sanitized conversations surrounding mainstream kink culture. We get into the psychology of power, the difference between healthy authority and pathological control, and why true dominance begins with mastering yourself.
We also unpack nice guy syndrome and how people-pleasing, fear of rejection, and unspoken expectations can undermine confidence, intimacy, and sexual dynamics. Is dominance something every man can benefit from learning, even if he doesn't identify as kinky? And what separates a man who simply likes being in control in the bedroom from someone who understands the responsibility of wielding power?
From building trust and practicing healthy dominance to exploring how BDSM can foster deeper communication and stronger relationships, Justin shares practical insights for anyone interested in becoming more intentional in their relationships and sexuality.
We also discuss his forthcoming book, Way of Surrender: The Tao of BDSM, which explores a compelling paradox: the Dominant surrenders to the Tao, while the submissive surrenders to the Dominant. Plus, we talk about his work giving submissives a platform to share their own experiences and perspectives, challenging the tendency to speak about them rather than listen to them.
In this conversation, we explore:
Dominance as a discipline of character rather than a collection of techniques
The difference between healthy dominance, control, and manipulation
Why dominance isn't necessarily synonymous with kink
Nice guy syndrome, people-pleasing, and the dynamics of desire
Practical tools for developing confidence and healthy authority
How BDSM can deepen trust, communication, and intimacy
Why sexual dominance without education or preparation can be problematic
The philosophy of surrender, power exchange, and personal responsibility
Whether you're curious about BDSM, interested in masculine identity and personal growth, or looking to build more honest, intentional relationships, this conversation challenges conventional ideas about power, masculinity, and what it truly means to lead.
Learn more about Justin's work and The Dominance Academy at https://thedominanceacademy.com/
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@thedominanceacademy
Substack: https://open.substack.com/pub/thedominanceacademy
Learn more about our retreats: https://www.shamelesssex.com/retreat
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