How I Became a Sex & Relationship Coach (And the Unexpected Exercise That Changed Everything)
Amy Baldwin here—cohost of the Shameless Sex Podcast—and today I want to share a little behind-the-scenes story about how I found my way into the world of sex and relationship coaching. Over the years, we’ve received countless emails from listeners asking how to break into the sex education field. It’s a big, exciting, sometimes confusing world. So I thought I’d go a little deeper and share the training that truly shaped my path.
Spoiler alert: it involved a lot less lecturing… and a lot more practice.
The Sex Shop That Started It All
Back in 2008, my mom and I opened a sex-positive shop in Santa Cruz (now only online at http://purepleasureshop.com …use code SHAMELESSSEX for 15% off! :)).
At the time, my plan was simple: work at the shop for a bit, then go back to school to become a sex therapist. But something unexpected happened.
People didn’t just come in to buy toys or lube—they came with questions. Deep ones. Vulnerable ones. Questions about pleasure, shame, communication, desire, and relationships. Often those conversations turned into mini counseling sessions right there on the shop floor. And I realized something important: While therapy often focuses on unpacking often painful past experiences, I felt most energized helping people with practical tools—skills they could use right now to create better sex and stronger relationships. That realization shifted everything. Instead of therapy, I started exploring sex and relationship coaching.
The Mentor Who Pointed Me in the Right Direction
Fast forward to 2016. I sat down with my longtime mentor, Dr. Charlie Glickman, who has been a guest on the podcast several times.
I asked him a simple question:
“What training should I do next?”
He immediately recommended the Somatica Method Training. He had just completed it himself and loved it. But he also gave me a warning. The program is highly experiential—focused on embodiment, connection, and practicing tools in real time. And he said something that stuck with me:
“You move fast and live in your head a lot. This training might challenge you.” Challenge accepted.
Why This Training Is Different
Soon after, I had a consultation call with Celeste Hirschman, MA, one of the program’s founders along with Danielle Harel, PhD. She explained something that became the core philosophy of the training: Real learning comes from experience. Not just reading about intimacy. Not just talking about connection. But actually practicing it.
At the time, the program was structured as five-day modules every other month over six months. Around 60 of us gathered to learn tools around:
Shame and vulnerability
Communication skills
Kink education
Erotic exploration
Relationship dynamics
Core desires and how to create sexy scenes
Structures for working with clients
And so much more…
And the structure was simple:
Learn a tool → Practice it immediately.
Then practice it again.
And again.
And again.
The Exercise That Humbled Me
One moment from the training stands out vividly. During a partnered exercise, I was paired with Dr. Emily Morse, host of the Sex With Emily podcast.
The assignment? Use embodied touch to create an erotic connection—with full consent and awareness. I thought, I’ve got this. I meditate. I like sex. This should be easy.
But when the instructor checked in with Emily, she noticed something surprising: Emily felt completely shut down. Frozen. Not connected. Not erotic. Cue potential shame spiral. Instead, I decided to treat it as a challenge. For the rest of the weekend, I committed to discovering my unique erotic self.
The Practice That Changed My Life
Then came an exercise called “Showing Yourself Out.”
Here’s how it works:
One person sits and simply witnesses.
The other stands several feet away with eyes closed.
They begin connecting to their erotic energy—maybe through movement, touch, or breath.
When they feel truly connected, they slowly open their eyes and approach the other person.
But there’s one rule.
If you get stuck in your head at any point, you stop, close your eyes, reconnect to your body, and start again.
Simple. But powerful.
And honestly? Life-changing.
Through that practice I discovered something incredible: I could tap into my erotic self anytime, anywhere. And once I learned it, I could teach it to others—and watch it transform their lives too.
From Training to Real Clients
By the end of the program, I left feeling something I hadn’t expected: Confidence. Not perfection. Not mastery. But the confidence to start helping people.
So I launched my coaching practice with a few “test clients” at a lower rate. It didn’t stay small for long. My work grew quickly, and over time I realized I especially loved working with couples. There’s something powerful about witnessing two people grow together—whether in person or through a screen.
Even now, I’m constantly learning. At some point I’ll likely take another training with Somatica Method Training again, likely their Couple’s Training. In my field, continued education is essential. Pretending you know everything only limits both you and the people you’re helping. These days the program is offered entirely online twice a year, which makes it accessible to people all over the world. And from what I’ve heard, they’ve managed to keep it just as experiential as the in-person version.
Thinking About Becoming a Sex Coach?
If you’re someone who loves helping people move from:
stuck → empowered
disconnected → passionate
confused → confident
Then sex and relationship coaching might be an incredible path. One honest note: many sex education certifications don’t necessarily teach you how to build a sustainable career. Plenty of educators leave those programs passionate—but still struggling financially. What I appreciated about Somatica is that it prepares you not just with knowledge, but with coaching tools you can actually use with clients right away. And yes—tools that can help you start making money doing the work you love.
Final Thoughts
Looking back, I never expected that working in a sex-positive shop in Santa Cruz would lead me here. But sometimes the best careers grow from simple curiosity and a willingness to follow what excites you. For me, that path led to helping people create more connection, more pleasure, and more honesty in their relationships. And honestly? I wouldn’t trade that for anything.
Ready to Dive In?
Take Somatica’s 2-minute quiz to see if the training is right for you
Check out their website: https://www.somaticainstitute.com
Listen to episode #133 How Core Desires Leads to Hot Sex here
Take one of their info (and experience) packed online sex-ed classes to see what their teaching style is all about
Email me at amy@shamelesssex.com with any questions about the training and I’ll gladly reply
