Throughout my sexual journey of life, I was always terrified to try anal. It just seemed like too much time and effort plus I’ve always had problems with…well bowel movements. It took me 35 whole years to muster up the courage to actually give butt play a shot and even after it actually happened, I still wasn’t sure if I ever wanted to do it again.
Don’t get me wrong, I always loved fingers, tongues and the occasional bite sized sex toy in my bum, but an entire penis just seemed so extreme! Having worked in a sex shop and having advocated for butt plugs and beads my entire career in the sex toy industry, I knew I had to make anal part of my sexual routine-I mean for Christ sake I was the number one seller of butt plugs when I worked in adult retail. I bought friend’s anal beads as bachelorette gifts and told them they “had to try it”. I studied the anatomy of the butt and knew more than most about butt sex, I took workshops to get all the right sex tips on anal play, I even read anal sex guides and prostate play books cover to cover. So why was I still so terrified to pop my anal cherry!? I felt like a fraud, even when we released episode #10 Anal Pleasure for Anal August, I was still an anal virgin. How was I going to break the cycle and my anal seal as I knew the time had come?
During my marriage, anal never really came up as something we wanted to try together. My husband was open to it but never pushed for it or conveyed a huge interest in taking the plunge so I took it off the table as something I would never do with him midway through our relationship. When I began working for a massive sex toy company with lots of anal and prostate products, I knew had to brush up on my research and I figured reading about it and asking lots of questions to those who had experience was the best angle possible. That helped me appear credible and as long as folks didn’t ask me for personal stories, I would be just fine and I was. After my husband and I divorced, I went on a year-long, global sex-capade I deemed “The Year of Anal Licking”.
As you probably guessed, I had lots of sex with lots of men (and a couple women) and there ended up being a lot of tongues in my bum. I had all sorts of back door action from German tongue, to Scottish, from Australian tongue to Chilean but still I hadn’t taken the full dive into the kingdom of full on penetrative butt sex. At some point during that year, after much contemplation, I decided I was going to save my anal virginity in all of its sacredness and glory for someone really special. Someone I was fully committed to and who I knew I would be with for a long time. Someone I could trust and who helped me feel safe and who would honor thy derriere.
Enter my current partner. When we started dating, I quickly realized how sexually experienced and completely open he was (and still is) to try all the things sexual and beyond. He was so communicative and I could talk to him about anything. Our intimacy was off the ricktors and I just knew that he was the one…the one I wanted to be with and the one I would give the gift of my anal V-card to. So the next logical question was when? When was I going to become an anal play advocate who was no longer an anal virgin? I desired to be a butt-sex specialist, an ally to the sphincter, a guru for the back door, your neighborhood anal expert. So naturally, I started obsessing over when this would happen. I packed a kit with the bare butt necessities I knew I would need to make things comfortable and fun. It contained a butt plug, some lube, a thong that had long ribbons to tie it together so I could reveal my ass gift when it was time, you get it the “bare necessities”. I thought to myself, “every advocate for anal probably has a kit in their car, I mean why wouldn’t that be the norm!?”. I figured it was better for me to be prepared because you just never know when the anal winds a gonna blow.
So I schlepped this kit around for weeks, no wait months and still nada. I began to get discouraged. I over analyzed everything and started thinking the lack of butt play was a sign from the universe. I April Lampert was destined to be an anal virgin forever. My butt was just for exits, there was no reentry permitted. I shared all of these thoughts with my partner time and time again who thought I was an insane person who should just chill out and go with the flow. He said to just let it happen and relax my way through it. Relax!? Go with the flow!? How the fuck was I supposed to go with the flow when my ass was on the line!?
Naturally, after months of this I finally surrendered. I stopped bringing the butt kit everywhere, I stopped talking about anal sex with friends and colleagues, I actually stopped obsessing about my butt all together. I mean obsessing was definitely not helping anyone, it actually only made me more tense and tenseness is the absolute antonym of anal.
It was like any other Sunday morning, sunny and beautiful outside, sleepy and cozy. My partner brings me a cup of coffee to bed as he does every other day and we’re casually chatting about the day ahead and our plans, naked and snuggly. It’s an ordinary day. Unsurprisingly, the last thing I have on my brain is butt sex as I gave up thinking about that weeks ago but I do have sex on the brain as I’m a pretty horny human and thankfully so is my partner. Understandably, we engage and go forth with our play time. My partner and I have really great sex and this sexual encounter is no different and I’m definitely on the highway to orgasm. I can feel it building with each second…it’s amazing, I feel like I’m floating on a tidal wave and I don’t want it to stop. But then he does something he NEVER has before-he stops. He then opens my nightstand drawer. Now, I love being tied up during sex, it’s one of the most erotic things for me so I always have a hog tie restraint system next to my bed. It’s the one where your feet are bound together as well as your hands and then everything is tied together behind your back, super-hot. I just can’t believe with all this momentum he’s deciding to add the restraint system to our session, always a fine choice by me just unexpected at this particular moment.
There I am, on my bed, on my belly, feet and hands bound together, ass slightly angled upwards. I hear the sound of the lube bottle being pressed upon and then I feel a finger in my butt-I get excited and start to clench a bit and then I ask him giddy with arousal and disbelief “are we really doing this!!?” and he responds with “relax, breath, enjoy” and so I do. Slowly one finger becomes two and I continue to breath and unwind throwing all of my anal inhibitions to the wind. After all, it was morning and I knew by butthole would be pristine as I hadn’t eaten or had a movement in more than 12 hours…I was good to go.
I have to say, the intensity of having an actual cock and not a finger or tongue in your ass is immense. At times I thought I was going to have to stop as the intensity has you gripped with pleasure but you’re also engrossed with a level of discomfort that borders on pain. It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced. I loved the mystery of what I was feeling-did I like this, did I hate this…what is this!? It was confusing yet so damn interesting. I needed to dive deeper into this anal abyss that was so much more complex than I ever expected.
After we finished, I felt a sense of accomplishment and a sense of relief. I finally knew what butt sex felt like but I just couldn’t figure out if I was 100% sold on it. Besides, I did orgasm but I couldn’t necessarily link the orgasm directly to the anal penetration. It was more of the combination of all the things that got me off (hot partner dominating me, being tied up, clitoral stimulation, the thought of me finally having this taboo, dirty, hot anal sex I knew so much about). It was so good yet so perplexingly hard to define. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to participate in the confusion again, why not just stick to what I knew so well already? Why complicate my sex life with something I couldn’t figure out if I totally enjoyed?? What a butt fucking conundrum.
I processed my first anal experience for quite some time and after a few days I came to the conclusion that the only way to get clear about my relationship with anal was do it again (and again). And I have to say, the next few times were pretty incredible. I’ve now learned my favorite position to experience anal as well as the best ways for me to orgasm during a butt play session. I also know that lube is anal’s best friend and closest confidant, that yes, you can get some “remnants” on your partners goods even if you’re fresh as a fucking daisy and that sometimes your butt can bleed a little even if you did everything the instructions told you to.
In the end, I don’t know if I’d ever consider myself a butt-sex specialist or back door guru but I do know that I enjoy anal play in its mystery and wonder and I am so happy it’s now part of my sexual repertoire and that I have the experience whenever those anal winds come a blowin’.
We would love to hear from you!
Do you find anal sex pleasurable?? Any great anal positions you want to share?? Do you know where the prostate is located??
Hooray for Butt Play!!